I knew I should have just gone home. I went with the non-bailers to the free drinks. And remember this episode and the woman who's just kind of there while the dude tries to pick up her friend? Classic third-wheel fun, baby!
Which brings me to my advice to dude from tonight: Look. I realize that you're all into my friend. I get it! It's lovely! In fact, I applaud it, and I'll tell you a little secret. I spent some energy trying to convince her to give you a second look, since I thought she might have been a wee bit dismissive of you, based entirely on what you looked like (versus the fact that you seem like a really nice person). Not that any of us are model perfect, 25 anymore, or what have you, but unfortunately we live in such a superficial culture.
I'm not saying you owe me anything. But. Something that would help you brush up the nice guy bona fides would be to actually be, um, nice. Please don't, for instance, treat me like I'm wallpaper, an unpleasant intrusion, what have you. I know it's a real drag to have to interact with a chick you don't actually want to sleep with and waste precious precious time you could be using to talk to someone you do. But trust me! It takes but a little effort to be pleasant and human, to make minimal small talk. I promise I won't take you the wrong way. And, frankly, it can only help you vis-a-vis the girl you like.
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