Saturday, February 28, 2009
1. Don't embezzle, do favors, engage in quid pro quo, even if it seems insane to "fucking give it away." In the latter case, I would most definitely not comment on the injustice of the arrangement while I'm being wire-tapped.
2. No sex scandals. Assume that even if that hooker seems trustworthy or that club where fellow rubber-hose fetishers congregate seems discreet, you will be found out.
3. No embellishment of really good stories. I know it's tempting to think this stuff will fly under the radar in normal conversational matters, but truly, they've got really awesome technology these days that let you record. It's a bitch to be famous.
So with principle 3 in mind, I'm left to wonder just what Bobby Jindal could possibly have been thinking, because he seems like a smart guy, Rhodes Scholar and all.
Friday, February 27, 2009
1. down in the tube station at midnight, the jam (live version)
2. cadillac on 22's, david banner
3. if you find yourself caught in love, belle and sebastian
4. theme for a very delicious grand piano, olivia tremor control
5. identity, x-ray spex
6. white boy, bikini kill
7. too tough to die, the ramones
8. love you more, the buzzcocks
9. come see about me, the supremes
10. recycled air, the postal service
But my pretty crummy and stressed-out week is over! And tonight will feature a well-earned happy hour saturated with Spanish wine. Yum.
Oh, curious at all about the state of housing prices? They're down ten percent in one month.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
For years, many women have been buoyed by the news about one of life's guilty pleasures: That nightly glass of wine may not only take the edge off a day but also improve their health. Now it turns out that sipping pinot noir might not be such a good idea after all.
A new study involving nearly 1.3 million middle-aged British women -- the largest ever to examine alcohol and cancer in women -- found that just one glass of chardonnay, a single beer or any other type of alcoholic drink per day increases the risk of a variety of cancers.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Kenneth from 30 Rock? For real? And I missed that? Damn.
But context notwithstanding, Jindal was something of a disaster. The delivery was awkward and sing-song (comparisons to Kenneth from "30 Rock" are ubiquitous). The arguments were tone-deaf and tiresome. The anecdotes were long and pointless. Jindal hadn't quite practiced enough with a teleprompter. He not only seemed like a guy selling a bad product in an infomercial, Jindal seemed like he was new at it.
It was painful to watch, both because the speech was bad and because it was hard not to feel bad for the guy embarrassing himself on national television.
On one of the cable networks, viewers were told that Jindal was "almost childish," and this "was not Bobby Jindal's greatest oratorical moment." The network? Fox News.
And I missed a lot of broad strokes on Obama's speech, as well because I was transfixed with Nancy Pelosi's jacket? Sweater? Sweatsuit? Was that a zipper? Did it have a tassle? You can see how one might get lost there.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I was happy to take the bullet (or the coathanger, as it were) the first time this happened. But since then, staff meetings have been held and e-mails were sent updating the gathered on the inadvisability of such things. Everybody onboard, it would seem, and in agreement.
So when it happens again, I think you have to say we're no longer operating under the rules of a civilized society.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Panning to Angelina Jolie while Jennifer Aniston was presenting--oh, so National Enquirier-covered cat fight!
Kevin Kline--morphing into Vincent Price? Discuss.
Resolved: No one, but no one, looks good in a strapless dress. Either gravity is working against you, you're mushing up weird bits of loose skin, or you have weird bones jutting out in strange places.
Mickey Rourke--are those his real teeth?
Sophia Loren--doesn't she look a bit like the statuette herself?
Was it a plus that it didn't feel interminable this year and that there weren't any serious diva moments?
Hugh Jackman--charmingly entertaining, or irritatingly cloying? Is he, as Barbara Walters would have it, the last of the true song-and-dance men?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Behold: my new Badtz Maru pen.
I also got a really nifty three-way one featuring Kuromi, who likes the color black and skulls, writing in her diary, reading short stories, and playing a mean guitar. Perfecto.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
But, eh, whaddya gonna do? We've reset the postal meter by a good couple of weeks, easy.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1. all the old showstoppers, new pornographers
2. sweet soul music, the jam
3. high on a mountain top, loretta lynn
4. catching the butterfly, the verve
5. no growing (exegesis), olivia tremor control
6. wishful thinking, the album leaf
7. beechwood park, the zombies
8. room 13, black flag
9. lust for life, iggy pop
10. nothin', townes van zandt
And it's nice and schizophrenic, which is always a good thing. Class was eh, since we had a substitute whose style could best be described as haranguing and who decided for some reason that I would serve as a nice example for proper in-class participation (following the haranguing, of course). Did she pick on the scowly girl who left halfway through class? Nooooooooo.
I'm also gearing up today for some teeth-gritting office dysfunction and staff togetherness. Inmates ==> asylum.
Beyond that, senioritis, baby. Checked out. Weekend on the horizon.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Anyway, as a predictable result of a situation that I've been trying to point out for the past 8 months or so, we are preparing to arrange an emergency meeting to address editorial follow through on conference papers and our publisher interest in same (i.e., the person who should be following up to publish things is not, ergo presenters are baffled and offended). I was talking with a quasi-muckety muck about topics for our next upcoming venture, and he was expressing concern on whether these things would be high-quality enough to publish. To which I had to point out that it's really beside the point if your whole system breaks down on the follow-through, isn't it? I don't think he quite got it.
You laugh or you cry, no?
C also mentioned something kind of cool our teacher mentioned about how our last class shook out. As you can imagine, we're all flailing about for nonfiction material. And sometimes the more difficult times in your life proves the more rich subject matter to explore. But you're juggling that emotional distance and trying to figure out what will work for a broader audience, so it's tricky. Anyway, C said that one of our classmates--who wrote in class about an assault she experienced as a teenager--told our teacher that she felt like C and I gave her "permission" to write about it. (C had written about things tied to her youth and family, and I had written about death.)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
But I noticed last week that she does this nice thing where she takes students aside after class to give them comments, praise, support, or helpful suggestions. I know I mentioned that we're supposed to be using our lives to mine for nonfiction material, around which we develop scenes for the semester. This week, I flew by the seat of my pants with some in-class writing. After tossing a few things around in my head that felt kind of static, I started in a scene that actually happened and from there ended up conflating some things that have happened to me and integrating from others. When I read it aloud in class, I was surprised that it came out much better and more cohesively than I thought (we were doing some scene jumping and choosing different aspects to tell, so it really is a split-second thing that can turn out badly). There was a long pause after I finished reading, and when we got to the recall session, my teacher leaped in at the beginning to describe some of the scenes I set up. After class, she came up and told me that it was fabulous, that obviously she wasn't familiar with any of my other writing, but if I were considering this for my semester-long material, I had her with what I wrote. Which, you know, is quite awesome.
And even my friend who had the less-positive experience last time around seems to be getting into the feel of the class and is pretty un-self-consciously doing some nice stuff. I think she's as afraid of our teacher as I am. Possibly we've graduated from our indulgent older brother to our stern mommy teacher models.
Anyway, all and all, it's very cool. I just hope I don't lose the good mojo by tossing off something dorky, thus making my teacher need to kick my ass.
The legendary fake band will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the This Is Spinal Tap mockumentary by releasing a new album, their first since 1992's Break Like The Wind. "It'll be for download as well as on conventional media later this year," Harry Shearer (aka bassist Derek Smalls) confirmed to BBC 5 Live.
The fictional English heavy metal group is the work of Shearer and two more American actors, Michael McKean and Christopher Guest. They last reunited in 2007, playing the Live Earth concert at London's Wembley Stadium.
"We've never recorded the song we did at Live Earth, Warmer Than Hell, and I think [Spinal Tap] are trying to revisit their old success," Shearer said. Rob Reiner caught up with the band at the time of that gig, shooting a short film showing what Spinal Tap's members had done with their lives. Guest's Nigel Tufnel was raising miniature racing horses, Shearer's Smalls was recovering from an internet addiction, and McKean's David St Hubbins had become a hip-hop producer.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Following a thwarted plumbing business (goddamned taxes!), a fruitless search for a book deal, an embryonic album, and the harrowing specter of journalism in a war zone, Joe the Plumber has branched out again. In his next incarnation, a last and fierce attempt to squeeze the dregs and drops of opportunity from his fifteen minutes of fame, he's set to become an advisor to congressional Republicans.
It's probably unnecessary for me to point out that he will be speaking on the economic stimulus legislation, as I think we're all clear on where his real expertise lies.
Monday, February 2, 2009
I needed the sleep and felt excellent yesterday, but alas, I woke up all draggy this morning. One day of rejuvenation seems kind of paltry. More! More!