Um, From What I Recall, That Didn't Work Out Too Well for Caesar

I'm in a mood. Sorry. It's hot again, my job sucks. There are stupid and incompetent people at every turn. Gone are the halcyon days when I was surrounded by the best and brightest. You know who you are.

It's complaining on all fronts, really, and since I can't personally call out the human micro-irritants (except to complain about them--behind their backs, naturally--to each and every one of you; expect a phone call!), I can bitch about the world.

You know how the left-wing crazies are out there on the streets, hustling to hand you a copy of the Daily Worker?

Well, the right-wing crazies are apparently forming think tanks, such as Family Security Matters--which boasts any array of mainstream, media-friendly Republicans on its board of directors--and writing articles advocating for policies. You know, like think tanks do.

Of course, your Brookings Institutions, for example, don't tend to write articles titled "Conquering the Drawbacks of Democracy." No, only brave warriors or insane people do that. You see, Bush was bowing to public opinion in merely invading Iraq. He was barred from doing the really prudent thing:

The wisest course would have been for President Bush to use his nuclear weapons to slaughter Iraqis until they complied with his demands, or until they were all dead. Then there would be little risk or expense and no American army would be left exposed. But if he did this, his cowardly electorate would have instantly ended his term of office, if not his freedom or his life.

Damn that cowardly and short-sighted electorate! If only there were a precedent in the ancient world for getting around such squeamishness to doing the proper and prudent thing.

If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.

He could then follow Caesar's example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

Coolness! Sounds like plan to me!