Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Reading Comprehension for Office Minions

Some cause and effect: if you habitually in past have been known to casually read directives or not at all and subsequently misinterpret them, other folk may then be inclined to question what you say when you assert facts. The confidence with which you assert your casually gleaned facts does not actually make them any more true.

On the other hand, moving logistics take on a surreal and nonsensical lemming-like aspect when they are directed by the above sort of people and carried out by folks who tend to want to outsource tedious decision-making and thinking about any details. For example:

Head-scratching office denizen: "You're saying we should take the toner cartridges out of all of our printers before the movers get here? Um, okay. I guess. If everybody else is doing it."

ALSO: It goes without saying that refrigerators, having sat open post-defrosting for two weeks, must be doused in bleach before they may safely be moved to a new location. This gives the added benefit of clearing the sinuses of everyone, providing headaches for some, and intensifying migraines of others. Plus, I can confirm, having toured the new space with office furniture in place, that each minion of the appropriate pay grade gets exactly as much as the next guy.

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