Saturday, November 1, 2008

People Can Sometimes Be Baffling and/or Sad

Here are the guys online who really leave me confused. Possibly this is just me projecting my own views and approach, but it strikes me as a bit sad how much effort some of these guys go to in order to impress a complete stranger with whom they may have zero compatibility. Instead of approaching it as a way to choose among people who may or may not be a fit for them and getting to know folks a bit, evaluating, with an option to move on if said person isn't what they're looking for, they attempt to morph to please.

For instance, take guy number 1, Mr. Apolitical. He asked if I were concerned that he didn't share my enthusiasm for following politics. I explained that it was kind of a ponderable question for me: I like to talk about politics and current events all the time, therefore anyone who spends time with me has to at least be able to tolerate that. That's just who I am. He followed up by gamely trying to talk about the election coverage on the radio.

Guy number 2, Mr. Not-Looking-for-Drama, parachuted into his first e-mail conversation with me suggesting the meeting place and scenario for us to connect, citing his confidence at our shared values (which weren't actually; he'd projected his own priorities onto some vague statements I'd said). I wrote back telling him that he may be reading into what I said about X, Y, and Z, so if that was what he was looking for, I may not be the right gal for him. I told him that I was happy to communicate via e-mail for a while to see if there was a common thread or not. He actually came back and argued his case with me! This system doesn't tell you anything, and how do you know about compatibility, and this is why you have to meet face-to-face, etc. Good lord.

I'm guessing they're not getting a lot of hits from women, so they're in the "don't-reject-me" posture. I almost want to give them tips: Pssst, we can smell desperation from miles away!


Toby said...

And it is not a pleasing aroma.

Laura said...

Amen, brother. Although, as with the Rush fan, I do appreciate when they put it up front. Saves a lot of time that way.