Good Question. What Does Santa Bring You When You've Been Good, But the World Has Been Bad?

Membership in the Michigan Militia? A Unabomber hooded sweatershirt? No, silly, a sleek and lovely 50,000-volt taser.

Perhaps I'm overreacting. A Taser could make a fun fun Christmas gift, especially the pink one. And a U.K. study shows they're "unlikely to harm human hearts"!