A Gentle Call for Courtesy in These Uncourteous Times

Dear Person in the giant SUV behind me in the strip-mall parking lot,

I am sure you were probably on a time-sensitive, possibly life-saving mission to the Super Target. I myself was on a hunt for a double-wide cat scratcher and coffee creamer, so I'm not insensitive to urgent commerce quests. And I can well imagine how the lot's gauntlet of stop signs in such circumstances becomes frustrating; no doubt my poky insistence on coming to a complete stop at all of them—rather than plowing through the PetCo owners, pets, and HomeDepot do-it-yourselfers—ground on your very last nerve.

But, but, not withstanding all of the above. I would like to strongly suggest that it is stupid, nay, dangerous, in these situations for you to pour on the speed and pass me, freeway style, in the lane for oncoming traffic. Particularly when the aisles for parking are all on the left, and I'm about to turn. So that's why I followed up our interaction with the finger, cursing, and beeping.

Thanks for your attention in this matter.